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https://t.co/EimEii41nX

abilities: - can stab self with a needle twice a week - decent ideas about media - crying really hard - beam attack

Hi friends! I'm working on @inversedotcom's "Best tech of 2022" — these are the very best hardware, software, services released *this* year I've already got a list of 20-ish devices that made the cut, but I wanna consider more in case I missed something. Drop your picks and why!

drinking one beer - you're in the clear drinking beers two - watch out... fool

"Loss leader" being canonized as a Real Business Thing kicks so much ass. The fucking rascal who sat down in front of a bunch of pissed-off old investors and said "Losing all this money is actually my plan to MAKE money" deserves to keep his nicest tie when he joins them in hell.

🚨 new rocker alert 🚨 just came across a guy on tinder whose profile just says “bassboarding.” i immediately thought, what’s that but didn’t have to wonder too much because every photo features him skateboarding with a bass guitar in hand

"why is this business still operating at a massive loss after 10 years" Look. You seem like a sly old cat. Surely you've seen someone clipping coupons down at the bingo hall. This is the exact same thing. Just on a bigger scale. I swear bro. Just give me more money

whenever i open the letterboxed app to log the fact that i watched all 3 maze runner movies in a row the list of Top Movies makes me feel like something is corroding through my stomach. i dont understand the brain you must have to willingly choose to watch shit called Aftersun

@cosmepl they should have an option for "watched with a custom soundtrack"

There are other ways to be "The Best" beyond specs or price

@raywongy @inversedotcom Pixel buds pro. Hands down best earbuds I've ever used!

*taps the sign, sobbing* https://t.co/WxWZbwD0VP

real estate agent? i’m a wrong estate agent

You wanna get rid of me you're gonna have to kill me

*dials harder* https://t.co/RqvIx0Fx4s

me when i'm the only person on earth who likes the movie White Noise https://t.co/cGtkn51L4K

me when i'm the only person on earth who likes the movie White Noise https://t.co/cGtkn51L4K

people on the east coast shouldn't be allowed to review video games.

https://t.co/Cm7IFaSRAh

:) tiny truck tuesday :) 1955 Datsun 120 https://t.co/eTfuYACRL2

:) tiny truck tuesday :) 1955 Datsun 120 https://t.co/eTfuYACRL2

https://t.co/Cm7IFaSRAh

people on the east coast shouldn't be allowed to review video games.

@NeoYokel It's like if a hoodie was a Halloween costume!!

@NeoYokel It's like if a hoodie was a Halloween costume!!

I read two pages of Huck Finn. Wonderful book. Tried to finish a list for work before falling asleep, while in bed and under the covers, but obviously I knocked right out after writing two wordswordsa. Never kid yourself.

I read two pages of Huck Finn. Wonderful book. Tried to finish a list for work before falling asleep, while in bed and under the covers, but obviously I knocked right out after writing two wordswordsa. Never kid yourself.

people always send me videos of frogs i don't care about frogs i used to shoot them for target practice i just feel nothing and now im worried friends send me frog media bc they think i look like a frog

Apparently some of you are unfamiliar with my reprehensible public behavior https://t.co/uDRwpIQDfd

Saw a yuppie couple in a juice bar and screamed "An increase from a base of zero isn't a 100% increase, it's an INFINITY PERCENT INCREASE!!" right in their faces as I knocked their $20 smoothies out of their hands, then I tried to run away and fell face-first into a puddle