Me: *whistling at urinal* *Guy enters* Me: *whistling “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” by The Police so he’ll subliminally pick a urinal further away* Guy: *to same tune* I want my MTV!!! 😫 *stepping closer* great song 🙂 *closer* love da chili peppers👁👄👁 *peeing in my urinal*

accidentally causing the next high-profile mass murder event by showing a death grips fan a piece of paper with like six numbers on it

Starting drivers for the 2022 @Bathurst12hour: #74 @KelvinvdLinde #777 @m_winkelhock #9 @LeeHoldsworth #17 @NickPercat #24 @cameron_waters #47 @Dave_Russell_22 #65 @chazmozzie #PerformanceIsAnAttitude #GT3 #B12hr https://t.co/jRwgiQ3dUx

It’s a real shame to be missing the @Bathurst12hour this year 🥺 First #B12hr I’ve missed since 2014… It holds a very special place in my heart & hope to be back on home soil in a @PorscheRaces car again next year 💛 Good luck to @GroveRacing! #TeamPorsche https://t.co/AtzMUvfYad

@NeoYokel No

me waking up in the morning https://t.co/6HUmTVLZIq

@NeoYokel No

me waking up in the morning https://t.co/6HUmTVLZIq

GM https://t.co/wDLnq7VPb7

@butt_sword https://t.co/36nhBUffRC

My time in COVID isolation has only deepened my respect and admiration for the countless beautiful design choices Apple made when designing the Airpods Max

Using the Airpods Max to play games on my ps5 feels like a ridiculous indulgence - spoils fit for a king

For my fans https://t.co/oWMM7ASlro

i'm destined to be mediocre at every single video game and i'm totally okay with that

make You squart

im on drugs and in sooo much pain reply to this with images that have my energy

downloading dating apps to people watch because i live in a quiet neighborhood so there's nothin to look at, besides the absolutely beautiful street, tiger lilies and newly planted trees as well as beautiful homes

downloading dating apps to people watch because i live in a quiet neighborhood so there's nothin to look at, besides the absolutely beautiful street, tiger lilies and newly planted trees as well as beautiful homes

im on drugs and in sooo much pain reply to this with images that have my energy

make You squart

i'm destined to be mediocre at every single video game and i'm totally okay with that

never realized how bad i needed a car with 4 doors until i got an extended cab pickup

never realized how bad i needed a car with 4 doors until i got an extended cab pickup

Spent the day talking to Twitter employees. No one knows why the CEO fired two of his top two lieutenants, and lots of people are uneasy about what’s coming next https://t.co/H7lLAoKC3h https://t.co/xi3Y4LcTmz

The truth is that this isn’t how and when I imagined leaving Twitter, and this wasn’t my decision. Parag asked me to leave after letting me know that he wants to take the team in a different direction.

Spent the day talking to Twitter employees. No one knows why the CEO fired two of his top two lieutenants, and lots of people are uneasy about what’s coming next https://t.co/H7lLAoKC3h https://t.co/xi3Y4LcTmz

The truth is that this isn’t how and when I imagined leaving Twitter, and this wasn’t my decision. Parag asked me to leave after letting me know that he wants to take the team in a different direction.

@NeoYokel I meant to say enterprise-focused sites, not user blogs Example https://t.co/KZIuVWVBSP

205 shortcuts 10s of thousands of actions 6 Automation April Shortcuts Contest winners Soon. https://t.co/Fqi6bDZcDE

https://t.co/1R6uc2jVzr